He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103: 10-12
We men often attempt to power through our sin. We try to fix our brokenness, sometimes in secret. Even after asking God to forgive us , we tend to grab the sin and drag it back into our life simply by skipping one critical step... we don't forgive ourselves.
Brother, if God has cast your sin as far as the east is from the west... then so should you. Stop dwelling on your mistakes. Stop believing you aren't good enough to receive God's forgiveness. Stop hanging on to your sins. If you truly want to move on... you MUST leave those things at the altar. You must forgive yourself.
God forigves you. Now forgive yourself. Open the door to mend your fences.